Coffee run
by SwordStitcher
Summary: Riddler sends Switch out for coffee.


'Dead Switch!'

She sighed and pulled back from the magnifying glass she was using to see the more intricate parts of a circuit board. She holstered the soldering iron and pulled the goggles back up her head.

'Don't make me come over there!' The voice shouted indignantly. Switch sighed and stood.

She found him at his monitors, watching various things. The lights were off again, which meant the monitors were the only things illuminating the hunched figure inspecting the images.

The harsh light leeched all colour from the room, she could hardly see the vibrant colours of his trademark green and purple suit. 'Yes boss?'

He turned to look at her, his hands angrily tapped out a rhythm on his cane. Obviously she'd said something wrong. 'I allow the henchmen to call me boss, simply because speaking my full name would eventually tax their Neanderthal brains.' He snapped. 'You are considerably more intelligent.'

'Sorry Riddler.' She grimaced.

He seemed satisfied, almost. 'Riddle me this.' He purred as his hand wrapped itself lovingly around the cane. 'And all shall be forgiven.

Discovered in Africa, I spread like a tide  
To become a hot staple known the world wide.  
A necessity to some, a treasure to many,  
I'm best enjoyed among pleasant company.

Some like me hot and some like me cold.  
Some prefer mild, others only bold.  
Some take me straight, while some like to savor  
My essence to which has been added a flavor.

So put down your cares and sit awhile with me;  
I'll send you back refreshed and full of energy.'

Switch sighed. 'Why can't Mannie and Zowie get the coffee?' She whined.

'They're on a heist.' Riddler snapped back. 'You know what I like.' He turned without another word and began to watch the monitors. Switch was completely ignored once again.

It was a rather odd arrangement, if not logical. A few of the big crime bosses were doing it. A villain would find himself, on a night, pondering the state of affairs and would often ask himself – What happens when I die? Who's going to remember me or carry on the colours?

Batman had a whole flock of bird brained boy wonders, and a girl too.

So they would kidnap and train their protégé. The budding criminal would learn from the master and eventually take his place. It was a legacy of sorts.

Unfortunately for her, she had some special quality that Riddler thought worthy to teach.

He'd had her snatched as she was yet again on the way to Arkham. That had been a few months ago now.

The car screeched to a halt outside of the nearest Starbucks. Switch didn't have to worry about a mask; she knew the security tapes would be useless when the police finally got here but the gun she pulled from the glove compartment was necessary.

She checked the clip and sensitivity before she got out of the car.

Everyone was already on the floor. Switch carefully picked her way across the terrified hostages. Her suspicions rose. Another criminal was in here.

Was it friend? Foe? In the ever complex, changing world of allies and enemies she'd either be ignored or shot at.

She hopped over the counter and raised her gun as she heard a conversation from the store room.

Her hands were sweaty because despite having been forced along on every one of Riddler's capers, she'd never actually shot anyone. Oh she'd threatened and fired bullets into the ceiling but she'd never…

Someone slid effortlessly out of the store room and Switch found another gun pointed at her. She recognised the face as friend and they lowered their guns.

'Hey Andy.' She smiled.

'Switch.' He greeted. 'Oh shit.' He suddenly remembered and ducked back into the store room. She could hear a muffled conversation going on.

Andy was Scarecrow's assistant. By now, a lot of the protégés would have found the name they'd be known by in the criminal world, but Andy was still undecided. She already had a professional name, by unanimous vote she'd simply kept it.

Andy ducked back out of the store room with a smile. 'Sorry, I had to warn Dr. Crane you were here. He's a bit…Full of coffee.'

Andy grimaced. Switch had heard this little tid-bit a few weeks ago, the last time Riddler and Scarecrow had met. They were friendly, since Riddler believed that sack for face wasn't an entire waste of brain-cells, at least, as he put it.

Scarecrow sometimes lived on coffee. He had bouts of insomnia that he would exacerbate by drinking ounce upon ounce of caffine. That makes a person jumpy. Thus Andy was forced to announce her presence just in case Scarecrow tried to use fear gas on her.

Which would piss Riddler off.

Scarecrow had gone through several protégés besides Andy. She'd learned that one from Riddler too. He kept getting irritated and almost always used them as test subjects for his toxin.

As they talked, she could hear the plaintive cries of the baristra suddenly break out into terrified screams. Andy stopped and sighed.

Scarecrow stalked out of the cupboard towards them as the shrieks reached fever pitch. He was carrying a huge sack of coffee beans on his bare shoulder. He stopped when he spotted Switch.

Hastily, she tried to remember how etiquette was meant to go. 'Um…Ridder sends his regards sir.'

Scarecrow stared at her for an uncomfortable few seconds. She had flashes about what would happen if he just gassed her. To her surprise he replied simply. 'Get your coffee.'

He turned his attention to Andy as Switch hastily made her way to the store room. 'Are the canisters set up?'

'Yes Dr. Crane.' Andy replied. Switch found the Cuban coffee beans and grabbed a bag as she tried to block the gurgling coming from the broken mind of the baristra tied to the wall. Beside her was a gas canister with a mask attached to it.

She shook herself and moved out of there as fast as she could.

The three of them exited the coffee shop as the first sounds of sirens reached their ears. A nervous police officer was pointing a gun at them. He must have radioed for assistance. Scarecrow gassed him and moved on like nothing had happened as the man dropped to his haunches and began to sob.

Switch dumped the bag of coffee into the passenger seat just as she heard Scarecrow shout. 'Girl!' She turned in surprise. He was leaning on the door of a white van with a detonator in his hands. 'Tell Riddler I want to see him, tonight.'

'Um…Yes sir.' She replied.

With that he pressed the detonator.

Some of the windows blew outward, the glass shards bounced off her car. Others remained broken but intact. The people of the café began to scream almost all at once.

She took that as her cue to leave.

Riddler looked, if ever, more agitated than when she'd left. He didn't turn around, just muttered 'What took you so long?'

'I bumped into Scarecrow.' She responded. 'He wants to see you tonight.'

That made his turn around. 'He wants to see me?' He seemed perplexed. 'Why?'

'I don't know.' Switch sighed.

Riddler suddenly sprang from the wingback chair with glee. 'Well we'd better prepare for our guests! Clean the place up a bit!'

Switch looked around the old warehouse. Its walls were rotten, years of mud and dirt was ground into the concrete and the steel beams above them were rusted. The place could only look better with a flamethrower.

'Yes sir.' She replied sullenly.


End file.
